Feeling the burn? You should probably see someone about that.

To the guy who urinated on me in the middle of the Cook Garden Bar on Saturday night, I guess it’s not your fault that your parents never potty trained you, but I think it is abouttime you learned to use a toliet. You are a university student now after all. And I wouldn’t think that continuing to get that tiny penis of yours out in public is going to help you pick up chicks.

Thanks for ruining my night,
Mikayla

P.S. I hope my slap left a bruise.